liTtle of This... LitTle of THAT!

First off I wanted to tell everyone THANK YOU for your love, support, prayers and concerns! I appreciate having such great friends and family who can help me through tough times! Words Can't explain how grateful I am to be here and love and hold my sweet little girls! And to have Matt as my companion! I feel so not worthy of the blessing of life! I cry to think of not being with our little family of 5!

During the whole situation... lying there wondering if the night before was the last time I could kiss my little girls good night, or hold them in my arms, or if that was the last time I got to kiss the man of my dreams, or have his hands upon my head, and if that 2 minutes I got to hold Ayzlie was the first and last time, was probably the hardest time of my life! I was so scared!

But thanks to a lot of prayers, the priesthood, amazing Dr's and Nurses, and un-seen hands preparing the way, I am here and have a new appreciation for life and my family!

THANKS AGAIN!!! I LOVE YOU ALL SOO MUCH!!!

Here goes on the last week since we have been home and a lot of FIRSTS! Enjoy a little of this and a little of that! 

This is the first night home... Hadlee and Cora were so cute checkin little Ayzlie out!  Luckily Cora has loved her and adapted to the situation much better than I anticipated!

Little ayzlie catching some ZZZ"S with Grandma B!

Ayzlie's FIRST bath! She loved it! She actually fell asleep! Isn't she chubby? Its so weird to me, I am used to my babies being so itty bitty!

Oh so cold gettin outta the Tubbers!

Cora's helpin out by holding her while Hadlee got ready for church! This is actually the first time she would hold her on her lap alone! 

Oh my... this girl is hilarious! She really cant get enough of her little SIS! It is so so cute! she just tries to cuddle and mall the little thing, rubbing her head, huggin her, humming songs to her!  HILARIOUS

The girls all ended up having matching outfits so I had to get a picture! Cora not so happy about that fact!

 

Ayzlie after her FIRST bath from her big sister! Hadlee did so good giving her a bath and was very careful not to get her umbilical cord wet! She said "mom... you have to do this very GENTLY" while she was washing her hair! Oh do I have the best helper ever! Love her!

Hadlee has had a "CHORE CHART" she has been working on forever and finally got it all done!  She wanted herself a new bike so we gave her some chores and she earned her HELLO KITTY bike that "has a break" she thinks that is by far the coolest thing!

Our Scary Happy Day!

So, It has been a very Joyous and scary past few days for us.

First off, the scary...

We went in Monday morning to have Caramie started to deliver the baby. All was going well and 12:51 Tuesday morning, 7 lb 11 ounce Baby Ayzlie was born. That is when things started taking a turn. Dr Housel started to deliver the placenta and I started to notice an increasing worried look on his face and tone in his voice. I remained calm because I knew if anyone was qualified to take care of my Cara, I knew he was.
As he continued to work on her, more and more tension was building, he started calling for more assistance from nurses that were attending to the baby. I started to notice the bag at the bottom of the bed filling with more and more blood. At this point all of the attention was turned entirely to Cara. Dr. Housel was then calling for a blood transfusion, plasma, more IVs and medicines but it wasn't getting better. As nurses were running frantically down the hall and in and out of the room, Dr Housel called out to have the OR prepped and he left to prep for surgery. I looked at Caramie and she had no color in her face and lips and she was fading in and out. At this point I am in a near panic and with tears in my eyes I lean over to her and tell her to hang in there and keep fighting! I didn't know what to do. I felt so extremely helpless and I started feel like I was going to break down. As the nurses were buzzing around prepping everything I called to my 2nd cousin (who "happened" to be on shift in that hospital that night) and said I wanted to give her a blessing. Luckily the anesthesiologist had the priesthood and agreed to assist. I tried to hold myself together as they started rushing Caramie down the hall in the bed to the OR. at this point I thought I had missed my opportunity to give her a blessing but the anesthesiologists pulled out oil and anointed her as we were running down the hall.  I was stunned by this but I and the anesthesiologist laid our hands on her, over the bed, as we ran. We sealed the anointing and I somehow, through my emotion, muttered out a blessing and finished as they pushed her through some doors to the ER. I was told to stay there and they would keep me updated.
Just as the door closed it all set in. I was about to lose my wife and my kids were going to lose their mom and I broke down. I begged with all I had to not take her from me. I pulled out my cell phone and sent a text to everyone I could think of to "please kneel down and pray for Cara, she needed their prayers.
I waited with some family at the door as nurses continued to rush in and out. Finally, after what felt like an eternity, my cousin came through the doors and said that the bleeding was slowing down and had almost stopped and that it looked like she would be OK, but that she had lost a tremendous amount of blood and we were waiting on Dr Housel to know for sure. 3 hours after they went into the OR Dr. Housel came out and said that the bleeding had stopped on its own and that she was OK. but he was sending her to the ICU to be monitored.

What had happened is she had a rare case where the placenta had fused with the uterus and when they tried to remove the placenta it caused a massive hemorrhage causing her to lose a tremendous amount of blood. She had to have a blood transfusion and had 6 units of blood and 2 units of plasma put back into her to try and replace what she had lost.

Miracles happened that night. Things fell into place from the beginning so that everything would work out to ensure she would survive this unseen complication.
-We were planning on delivering at McKay Dee like our other 2 girls but for some reason decided to deliver at Ogden Regional 2 days before delivery.
- Ogden Regional happens to be a blood bank and happened to have all of the blood Cara needed, on-hand. Had she delivered at Brigham she would have died. had she delivered at McKay Dee, she for sure would have had a hysterectomy and could have died as they would have had to order blood that would have had to be delivered.
-Dr. Housel was able to get her in to have her delivered 2 weeks early (which almost never happens). This was the only 2 days he would be in town for a couple weeks. and according to the hospital he is the BEST surgeon we could have had.
- after nearly losing so much blood and nearly passing. Cara has remarkably made a speedy and full recovery and is still here with me and her kids.
She has made a remarkable recovery and is currently doing great!

We have been extremely blessed. Though I feel unworthy sometimes of such tender mercies, I have been allowed to spend one more day on this earth with my beautiful wife. I cannot find words to express how grateful I am to my Heavenly Father for watching out for little ole me and my little family. I am eternally grateful!

Thank you so much to all of you that offered up your prayers for Cara. I know they were heard and I am sooo thankful for you and your faith!


Here's the good stuff...
Though just minutes after being delivered, she was merely wiped down and wrapped up and handed to her Grandma because all the nurses were trying to save her mom, she remained so calm and so patient. She waited as her grandma held her alone in the room for more than an hour and a half for a nurse to come and attend to her and clean her up. She is so cute and precious and we are excited to have her in our family!

Ayzlie Jan Toyn
Born: June 15th, 2010
7 lbs 11 ounces
19 inches long

Here are some other pics of from the day! (don't worry, all Happy! :)



On the way to the Hospital

After mommy recovered she finally got to see her baby